Self Help Infos

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Thursday, September 10, 2009

Get My Ex Back - How To Win Back A Lost Love

Posted by patrick

By Kiley King

When I was in the midst of trying to figure out how to get my ex back, I discovered there were many strategies available to make the process more bearable. Most people don't even know that there are strategies for reconnecting after a breakup or how to use them to their advantage. Sometimes, they go against the very thing you feel like you should do or think you should do.

It's easy to do the wrong things when you're in the middle of a situation that is fraught with emotion. Too often, it's easier to make things worse than to make them better, no matter how hard we try. Has this been your experience too? I wouldn't be surprised, it happens more often than not.

When I was trying to get my ex back I made a lot of mistakes. If you are in the middle of trying to get back together with someone you probably know what I'm talking about. It's easy to get trapped in all kinds of emotional baggage and act out of anger and resentment. Or, our bruised egos blind us to the reality of the situation. These things are very common experiences after a break up.

The very first thing you need to do after a break up is to take a good long, hard look at yourself. Forget about the being dumped part, the wounded ego, and decide for yourself whether or not you really want to get back with this person. If the answer is yes, then you need to look even harder at yourself and consider all of the ways in which you may have contributed to the breakup.

This is not an easy thing to do. In fact, it may be one of the hardest things you'll ever do, but it is crucial and necessary for a real reconciliation. Be as objective and honest with yourself as you possibly can. After you have done this, if you want to move forward in your attempts to reconcile, then you must begin to formulate a plan. Before you act, you need to decide on effective strategies so that you don't fall into the trap of reacting, like you probably have been doing.

When our emotions are running high, it is impossible to act effectively. In most cases begging and crying will not make your ex change their mind. Nor will anger and resentment have a positive influence. So until you can approach the situation without the intensity of emotion, it is a good idea to back off. This does not mean you're giving up. Getting your emotions under control will work to your advantage.

This also has another unintended consequence that will very much work to your advantage. You see, we human beings are funny creatures and far too many times we don't appreciate what we have until we have lost it. By putting some distance between yourself and the one you love you will psychologically trigger in them feelings of separation and they won't even know why.

This doesn't mean that you completely ignore them or go out of your way to avoid them. If you still live with them or should happen to bump into them, of course, be polite and cordial. What you are going to do is show them that you are in fact strong and not needy and that is very attractive indeed. Using this one method alone oftentimes does the trick... but we have many more get my ex back strategies that have proven to be very effective as well.

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