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Monday, September 28, 2009

Beyond the Classroom: The Lessons Parents Must Teach Teens at Home

Posted by patrick

By Byron Jonas

Math, science, language, history - these are all subjects covered in depth in secondary schools. Children learn about nature and physics, about calculus and trigonometry, about novels and poetry in these important formational years of their lives. Their adolescent years are marked by the knowledge they gain in an institution meant to form their minds academically.

Nevertheless, secondary schools are not the only entities responsible for the education of children - parents must work in this area as well. Parents are responsible for teaching children about topics that are not necessarily academic in nature but that regardless are important.

Drugs and alcohol are two subjects in which parents must definitively take the lead in the education of their children. Secondary schools often bombard kids with an attitude of zero-tolerance to such substances - an attitude that is ideal but not always realistic. Most adults enjoy a drink of alcohol at least every once in a while, and it may be difficult for students to reconcile such behavior with the strict mandates they are given in school.

It is the responsibility of parents to speak with their children about drugs and alcohol in a manner that is more plausible and acknowledging of reality. This by no means encouraging them to partake in the abuse of such substances. What it means is to open up the lines of communication regarding the subjects. Parents are responsible for setting their own guidelines for teens. They must explain the possible negative outcomes of drugs and alcohol but make sure that their children know they're always available to talk.

Another question often answered with a zero-tolerance attitude by secondary schools is sex. Abstinence may be the best option, but it is usually the most realistic. Furthermore, families have different ethical codes that may not include abstinence as the best and only solution. And even family morals do encourage abstinence, teens are not always likely to abide.

Parents must engage their children in a conversation about sexual activity, from birth control to STDs to safe sex. Kids must know what options are available to them and feel comfortable with talking to their parents.

While sex, drugs and alcohol quite obviously fall in the arena of parents' responsibilities, other subjects do not. Take, for example, the question of the future. Of course, secondary schools are institutions formed upon the idea of preparation for the future. That said, the way in which they do so is often by way of an instructional monologue. Though adolescents may seem too young to even think about the future, parents may be surprised to find out that they do have a fair share of anxieties. Parents must talk to children about their goals and dreams, about what they really want to do with their lives. Parents may not get any definitive answers out of their teens, but they will most definitely get to know them more.

Secondary schools cannot be depended upon to provide adolescents with all the tools they need for adult life. Parents must also play an important, more conversational role in a child's formation.

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