Why Keeping Your Cool Will Get Back Your Ex-Girlfriend
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patrick
Do you want to know how to get your ex-girlfriend back? This article will hopefully give you a few good strategies and perhaps a little encouragement and comfort, too.
Losing someone you love can be devastating, and feeling alone in it all can make the days and nights seem endless. Breaking up is hard to do- especially if youre not the one who wanted the split. Regardless, there are ways to deal with the pain while making a plan to get her back.
Where to Start?
Youve got to start with you. Stop everything for a bit and focus on you. Are you eating enough? Getting enough sleep and exercise? Youll be no good to anyone if you dont care for yourself. Keep up with a good work out program, stay shaved and well-groomed.
Resist the urge to overdo the alcohol. You need to stay clear right now, and alcohol only dulls the pain temporarily. You are going to go through some intense sadness and some loneliness, but you will get through to the other side.
Resist the Urge to Call
Resist the urge to contact your girlfriend. Dont invent reasons to call or visit her. Absolutely do not cruise her work or her mothers house or the club she frequents. That will not score you points and could be construed as stalking! Stay cool for a while. It wont be time to call until you are feeling less vulnerable.
If you see her, tell her you are fine and that you hope you can still be friends. Your unexpected casualness may cause her to let down her guard and begin thinking about things.
Ouch! Admit You Could Have Done Better
Even if you werent directly the cause of the break up, find a way to let her know you could have done better. Spend some time thinking about the way you were with her. Women need to feel valued. They want to be told they are beautiful and intelligent. They want your admiration and respect. Your girlfriend wants you to see her as the sexiest woman alive- at least in your eyes. She needs to hear it often. Daily.
Did you listen to her? Were compliments, hugs and gentle touch daily habits? Let her know you goofed up. If you cheated on her or gave her a reason to distrust you, tell her youre sorry. But dont beg. Just let her know youve been thinking.
Extend Yourself Thoughtfully
This is tricky, but it can work. If you need to drop some of her things off, include a small gift that shows you remember who she is, and why you liked her to begin with. A CD of her favorite group, a book by a favorite author, or- and this is very effective- a beautifully bound blank journal. Your girlfriend will be taken a back by your thoughtfulness. Her response may surprise you. But it may take more than one time. Just dont overdo it.
Remember her birthday. If she has children, remember their birthdays. Try to be sincere but somewhat detached. And always appear confident and in control when you see her. Your strength will be a powerful magnet!
Bide Your Time- Then Make Your Move
Chances are your girlfriend is going to be missing you, despite evidence to the contrary. Even if shes begun a new relationship, you were in her heart first and you can win her back. Remembering these important hints can help you regain her affection and eventually put you in a position to be more direct with your desire to have her back.
Really search your soul- What could you have done when you were with her to keep her tuned in and turned on to you. Write it down and list some practical ways you could improve. Dont throw this list away!
Keep your attitude good- Get counseling if you feel youre going under with the pain of your separation. Stay physically and mentally active. Attend to your spiritual self by meditating or listening to self-development tapes.
Let her know youre still there for her- Caution: Fine line here! You need to present as caring but not crazy. Simple thoughtful gestures can keep you connected to her without generating her resistance.
Tell her how you feel- When youre in a stronger place, let her know how you feel. Tell her you were at fault, without rehashing the breakup. Really listen to her thoughts and feelings. Let her know you still desire her and want her back.
Then back off- Tell her youll wait, and that you dont need an answer now. And mean it. If shes worth waiting for, then wait.
Dont wait forever- Decide in your heart what a reasonable time to wait is- but dont tell her. She does not need an ultimatum. It might be reasonable to wait a few weeks, or a few months. Youll know in your heart and mind how long is long enough. Chances are, shell be phoning you or knocking on your door within days or weeks if youve continued the occasional thoughtful and upbeat contact. And if she doesnt, youll be strong enough to take it and move on.
Remembering that life is an adventure and often unpredictable will help you weather this downturn. Your sadness, anger and loneliness is natural and it is real. But you can go through this- and come out better and stronger on the other side.
Best of luck. Susie
Losing someone you love can be devastating, and feeling alone in it all can make the days and nights seem endless. Breaking up is hard to do- especially if youre not the one who wanted the split. Regardless, there are ways to deal with the pain while making a plan to get her back.
Where to Start?
Youve got to start with you. Stop everything for a bit and focus on you. Are you eating enough? Getting enough sleep and exercise? Youll be no good to anyone if you dont care for yourself. Keep up with a good work out program, stay shaved and well-groomed.
Resist the urge to overdo the alcohol. You need to stay clear right now, and alcohol only dulls the pain temporarily. You are going to go through some intense sadness and some loneliness, but you will get through to the other side.
Resist the Urge to Call
Resist the urge to contact your girlfriend. Dont invent reasons to call or visit her. Absolutely do not cruise her work or her mothers house or the club she frequents. That will not score you points and could be construed as stalking! Stay cool for a while. It wont be time to call until you are feeling less vulnerable.
If you see her, tell her you are fine and that you hope you can still be friends. Your unexpected casualness may cause her to let down her guard and begin thinking about things.
Ouch! Admit You Could Have Done Better
Even if you werent directly the cause of the break up, find a way to let her know you could have done better. Spend some time thinking about the way you were with her. Women need to feel valued. They want to be told they are beautiful and intelligent. They want your admiration and respect. Your girlfriend wants you to see her as the sexiest woman alive- at least in your eyes. She needs to hear it often. Daily.
Did you listen to her? Were compliments, hugs and gentle touch daily habits? Let her know you goofed up. If you cheated on her or gave her a reason to distrust you, tell her youre sorry. But dont beg. Just let her know youve been thinking.
Extend Yourself Thoughtfully
This is tricky, but it can work. If you need to drop some of her things off, include a small gift that shows you remember who she is, and why you liked her to begin with. A CD of her favorite group, a book by a favorite author, or- and this is very effective- a beautifully bound blank journal. Your girlfriend will be taken a back by your thoughtfulness. Her response may surprise you. But it may take more than one time. Just dont overdo it.
Remember her birthday. If she has children, remember their birthdays. Try to be sincere but somewhat detached. And always appear confident and in control when you see her. Your strength will be a powerful magnet!
Bide Your Time- Then Make Your Move
Chances are your girlfriend is going to be missing you, despite evidence to the contrary. Even if shes begun a new relationship, you were in her heart first and you can win her back. Remembering these important hints can help you regain her affection and eventually put you in a position to be more direct with your desire to have her back.
Really search your soul- What could you have done when you were with her to keep her tuned in and turned on to you. Write it down and list some practical ways you could improve. Dont throw this list away!
Keep your attitude good- Get counseling if you feel youre going under with the pain of your separation. Stay physically and mentally active. Attend to your spiritual self by meditating or listening to self-development tapes.
Let her know youre still there for her- Caution: Fine line here! You need to present as caring but not crazy. Simple thoughtful gestures can keep you connected to her without generating her resistance.
Tell her how you feel- When youre in a stronger place, let her know how you feel. Tell her you were at fault, without rehashing the breakup. Really listen to her thoughts and feelings. Let her know you still desire her and want her back.
Then back off- Tell her youll wait, and that you dont need an answer now. And mean it. If shes worth waiting for, then wait.
Dont wait forever- Decide in your heart what a reasonable time to wait is- but dont tell her. She does not need an ultimatum. It might be reasonable to wait a few weeks, or a few months. Youll know in your heart and mind how long is long enough. Chances are, shell be phoning you or knocking on your door within days or weeks if youve continued the occasional thoughtful and upbeat contact. And if she doesnt, youll be strong enough to take it and move on.
Remembering that life is an adventure and often unpredictable will help you weather this downturn. Your sadness, anger and loneliness is natural and it is real. But you can go through this- and come out better and stronger on the other side.
Best of luck. Susie
About the Author:
Susie Kempton has been a professional in relationship counceling for more than 2 decades and is highly regarded in her field. She has a free 7 day guide available on How to Win Back Love by visiting her website which is dedicated to providing ideas and solutions on How to Get Your Ex Back
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