Anniversary Dates and Grieving
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Many of lifes anniversaries can bring us great joy. However, after the loss of a loved one these times can also become sad events, as the anniversary of their death casts our memories back on the pain felt when they passed away. A loss of someone close to us can take a long time to heal, and as a result, a small gathering of family and close friends may be the best way of marking this significant anniversary. This means you can take comfort in the people you trust the most, and at the same time pay respects to the one you have lost.
Although the pain can fade, grief does not simply disappear as time goes by. There will always be bad times and better times. Anniversaries have a tendency to bring memories to the fore, and it can be very easy become extremely upset at these times. This is totally normal, and all part of the process. The key thing is to take things slowly, remain attentive to your own health, eat and sleep as well as you can, and not expect too much from yourself in too short a space of time.
As opposed to dwelling on the loved ones passing, try to use the anniversary to celebrate their life. Along with your friends and family, cast your mind back to fond memories you spent together, perhaps by looking at old photos or story-telling. This could also be held alongside a meal in their honor. A small meal " such as tea, may be easier than a large dinner. If you plan to visit the grave, make sure there is time afterwards to spend with your loved ones so that you can comfort each other. Going for walk is a good way of enjoying the company of others and refreshing yourself, even if you dont make conversation as you are walking.
Though it can be hard, try using the anniversary as a time of celebration of their living, rather than reminding yourself of the sadness of their departing. The deceased is still loved and missed, and on this special day their memory should be honoured. A good way of doing this is to mark the event with a symbolic act, such as planting a tree, or making a charitable donation in their name to a cause which they believed in. An anniversary of someones death can be a special day, and remembering it can be a yearly tradition.
Although the pain can fade, grief does not simply disappear as time goes by. There will always be bad times and better times. Anniversaries have a tendency to bring memories to the fore, and it can be very easy become extremely upset at these times. This is totally normal, and all part of the process. The key thing is to take things slowly, remain attentive to your own health, eat and sleep as well as you can, and not expect too much from yourself in too short a space of time.
As opposed to dwelling on the loved ones passing, try to use the anniversary to celebrate their life. Along with your friends and family, cast your mind back to fond memories you spent together, perhaps by looking at old photos or story-telling. This could also be held alongside a meal in their honor. A small meal " such as tea, may be easier than a large dinner. If you plan to visit the grave, make sure there is time afterwards to spend with your loved ones so that you can comfort each other. Going for walk is a good way of enjoying the company of others and refreshing yourself, even if you dont make conversation as you are walking.
Though it can be hard, try using the anniversary as a time of celebration of their living, rather than reminding yourself of the sadness of their departing. The deceased is still loved and missed, and on this special day their memory should be honoured. A good way of doing this is to mark the event with a symbolic act, such as planting a tree, or making a charitable donation in their name to a cause which they believed in. An anniversary of someones death can be a special day, and remembering it can be a yearly tradition.
About the Author:
Gail Garner shares her experiences of grief. Be sure to read her articles for valueable information on how you can get through your grief.
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