A Simple Three Step Plan For Getting Your Ex Back
Posted by
patrick
Want to get your ex back without waiting months and hoping they'll forgive you and miss you? This seems to be one of the most common plans, and it mostly causes a lot of heartaches. Instead, follow this 3 Step plan and see if you can get your ex back in a few hours or a few days at most.
Step one is to figure out why the relationship ended. Try to figure this out as objectively as possible. What caused the break up? If there was a big fight at the end, what was the underlying reason as best you understand it that you split up?
Relationships will end for one of three main reasons. You wronged them in some significant way. They wronged you. Or, they lost their interest in and passion for you, you drifted apart.
As best you can, you have to understand what went wrong. You won't be able to address the issue and repair the damage if you don't understand the underlying reason for the rift.
Step Two is critical and often overlooked. Without this step you will have little chance of getting back together. You need to set up a special kind of conversation with them where you ask them not to argue or blame or explain but to listen to you and you'll listen to them. Then you both talk about your feelings about what went wrong. So if you wronged them by cheating on them, you need to make it safe for them to talk and vent about how they feel about what happened. (You need to do something different instead of this step if they just aren't that into you anymore.)
The key is for both of you to discuss your feelings about what went wrong. Not to prove who's right or wrong. The negative emotions filling your mate's heart may need to be vented and released. You do this by listening to them, not arguing with them. Once they are aired out, you start to have some room for more positive feelings about each other again.
Step Three depends on the previous two steps. If you feel like their and your negative feelings about the cause of the break up have been vented or aired, then you can apologize or accept their apology and see about getting back together.
You don't necessarily want to demand that they take you back or come back right now. You don't need to force them to make some big decision. But you can let them know what you want, that you'd like them to consider seeing you again. Leaving it up to them is often a great thing to do at this stage. There is more detail to each of these three steps, but they can often pave the way for you to get back with your mate.
Step one is to figure out why the relationship ended. Try to figure this out as objectively as possible. What caused the break up? If there was a big fight at the end, what was the underlying reason as best you understand it that you split up?
Relationships will end for one of three main reasons. You wronged them in some significant way. They wronged you. Or, they lost their interest in and passion for you, you drifted apart.
As best you can, you have to understand what went wrong. You won't be able to address the issue and repair the damage if you don't understand the underlying reason for the rift.
Step Two is critical and often overlooked. Without this step you will have little chance of getting back together. You need to set up a special kind of conversation with them where you ask them not to argue or blame or explain but to listen to you and you'll listen to them. Then you both talk about your feelings about what went wrong. So if you wronged them by cheating on them, you need to make it safe for them to talk and vent about how they feel about what happened. (You need to do something different instead of this step if they just aren't that into you anymore.)
The key is for both of you to discuss your feelings about what went wrong. Not to prove who's right or wrong. The negative emotions filling your mate's heart may need to be vented and released. You do this by listening to them, not arguing with them. Once they are aired out, you start to have some room for more positive feelings about each other again.
Step Three depends on the previous two steps. If you feel like their and your negative feelings about the cause of the break up have been vented or aired, then you can apologize or accept their apology and see about getting back together.
You don't necessarily want to demand that they take you back or come back right now. You don't need to force them to make some big decision. But you can let them know what you want, that you'd like them to consider seeing you again. Leaving it up to them is often a great thing to do at this stage. There is more detail to each of these three steps, but they can often pave the way for you to get back with your mate.
About the Author:
For an entire 7 Step Strategy to get your ex back in one day, you can get a book on Get Ex Back Relationship Advice. John Laney teaches relationship skills and you can get a free relationship intelligence course at Fix Relationship Problems Today.
Posts
Post a Comment