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Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Marriage Advice - The Best Way To Stop Conflict

Posted by patrick

By Johnnie S Laney

The more conflict there is in your marriage, the less love and intimacy you begin to feel. Continuing conflict obviously can lead to divorce. So it is worthwhile to learn to deal with conflict in a healthy manner. You can take classes and read books and watch videos to help you reduce the conflict and the pain it causes to your marriage.

So learning to turn conflict into caresses, fight fair, and go for win win are good skills to develop that will reward you long term with a better marriage. But what if there was a way to stop conflict before it started? What if there was a way to reduce the conflict in your marriage by over 50%?

There is a way to do this that is powerful, effective, and you dont need to take a class on conflict to do it. Even better, you can put it to use in your marriage to minimize conflict starting just minutes after you finish this article. This method is a secret that almost no one talks about. Are you ready? A remarkable way to stop conflict before it begins is to PLAY MORE with your mate.

Play is the fun secret that can kill conflict before it begins. Conflict and play go hand in hand. The more play in your marriage, the less conflict. Kinda obvious, right? In the beginning you played a lot with your mate. You went to movies, had lots of sex, went dancing. You engaged in all kinds of fun activities. There was lots more play than fighting in the beginning.

But then time passes and we get married. We have jobs and responsibilities and burdens and kids. Over time the play can begin to disappear from our marriage. And then the fighting and conflict will begin to increase.

So to stop fighting at the source start to play with your spouse more on purpose. Have one date night per week where you do something together you both enjoy. Find a few other times during the week to have spontaneous sex, fun or play with your mate. Add play back in with your spouse and observe what happens.

There is a lot more to this, but adding more play into your marriage will improve the quality of your relationship. For some couples it may be a struggle at first, due to all the fighting youve been doing you may not find it easy to relax and start playing again, but that doesnt negate the power of this secret weapon for reducing conflict. Have fun, play some, and see for yourself how your relationship begins to change.

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