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Thursday, August 13, 2009

How To Get My Husband Back After I Drove Him Away

Posted by patrick

By Marie D. Tracy

One of the questions that you will ask is how to get my partner back. The practice of dating is full of swings and downs, and the majority of the downs are the results of a misunderstanding. So when you're trying to figure out what went wrong, here are some clues as to where men get a false message and end up backing off.

Many men back off for a reason that appears counter intuitive. By trying too hard to thrill the guy, serving his each need, in the final analysis you're selling yourself as a mat in his eyes. The idea is to be respectful with who you are, and how you sell yourself. That is not to say you should be dominant, but that you should say that being someone who is respectable is how to get my hubby back. Men do like to be treated well at times, but they desire girls who can standup for themselves.

Another thing which may send them away is to talk about your ex's. Men are competing when they are dating. They are thinking about the other men who are potential competitors to their efforts, so when you mention other men in your life you are giving them something to compare against. Again, this isn't to say you should not say anything. Background and personal history is vital. Knowing that you dated one man throughout high school is significant. Telling your date that he's a football player with twenty awards, his game stats, where his tattoos are, etc. Is too much. Concentrating on one ex will sell the idea that either you have feelings for him, or if it's all negative, you will cause your date to over analyze themselves.

Business like behavior, or inversely being too promiscuous, will work against you. The general ideal is a woman like or feminine behavior. Too much on the skin side can work against you, but being boyish will also push away prospects. You should be feminine, conservative, and someone who is not cheap or intimidating.

Pressuring him is another turn off. This includes trying to get him to define his role and analyze who he is and how he feels. Men tend not to love having their feelings challenged, and if he has an idea that is proven wrong, then it can send him packing.

Another thing to send him packing is to try to change him. You cannot. Men think that being steady means you would like him for him, so trying to change him is going to tell him he has a significant problem. Even if he does not have a problem, trying to change him will challenge his feelings and strip him of who he is. Let him be him. If you want something else, find somebody else.

No one is ideal, and no relationship is perfect; but when you are trying to figure out how to get my boyfriend back, these are steps to make sure you don't shock him off.

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