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Friday, May 29, 2009

What to Do to Rebuild a Relationship After Domestic Charges Have Been Made.

Posted by patrick

By Chuck R Stewart

Domestic abuse is a serious charge. If you have been charged with domestic abuse because you turned on your spouse in anger, you need to do two things immediately. Your first action must be to contact a Las Vegas domestic violence attorney. This will have a strong impact on your future whenever any type of criminal charge has been made against you, but it is particularly important in the case of domestic abuse. If you love your spouse and want to rescue the marriage, you need a Las Vegas domestic abuse attorney to minimize and mitigate the lifelong effects of a single incident. The second action needed to preserve the relationship is to see a counselor or therapist for anger-management training.

Retaining a competent lawyer that specializes in domestic abuse cases is important because the issue is so serious. All possible steps must be taken immediately to prevent further abuse from occurring. In many parts of the country, Nevada being one, domestic violence is an enhancement crime. This term means that, for each subsequent conviction, the penalties become much more severe. Besides stricter penalties, you may lose your Second Amendment right to own a firearm. Also, in a child custody case, a conviction for domestic abuse can prevent you from being given even partial custody of your children.

While assistance from a domestic violence attorney is vital in the present when a charge has been filed, counseling and anger-management training is needed to prepare for the future. If you want to repair your current relationship or have a chance for a successful future relationship, you need to learn to express your anger in healthy and loving ways. While computer-based anger-management training is available, it can be most successful with the help of a counselor or therapist in live sessions.

Dr. Tony Fiore and Dr. Ari Novick have published a book called Anger Management for the 21st Century. In this book, Drs. Fiore and Novick explain eight techniques to help you to take control of your anger. These techniques can be boiled down to one concept, which is to think before you react. These techniques can be summarized in this way:

1. Recognize stress. A lot of anger is caused by stress. If you can recognize that you are experiencing stress, you can use various stress-reducing techniques during times when you are feeling no anger.

2. Develop empathy. An empathic person can feel and thus understand the feelings of others.

3. Respond instead of react. Reacting implies acting without thinking. When you feel angry, don't let your first reaction come out without thinking it through first.

4. Change the conversation with yourself. In your self-talk, analyze how you react when you are angry and why you hold onto it.

5. Communicate assertively. When you communicate assertively, you stick up for your beliefs and for yourself without being hostile or aggressive.

6. Adjust expectations. Nobodys perfect. Figure out what you can accept in your family without expecting perfection.

7. Forgive, but don't forget. Don't let resentment build up over past actions. Learn to forgive.

8. Retreat and think things over. Before you react with violence, step away and think things through so that you can respond and not react.

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