Strong Communication Skills Lead to Easier Conflict Situations
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patrick
'Integrity' is a word that makes us often think of truthfulness, honesty, and altruistic morals. What integrity also represents is a highlighting of strong communication skills that make us better communicators. Even if we consciously try to live our lives with the highest level of integrity possible, it can still often be a challenge. In the heat of the moment, our emotions can take control and we say things we really don't mean. Apologizing after the fact can be difficult, yet with certain communication skills, we can better maintain our relationships by authentically resolving our mistakes positively and without added drama.
The Four-Part Apology is a great tool to maintain clear, open communication that will maintain our integrity for strong relationships when we have to apologize for a wrong-doing. This model allows us to acknowledge what we did, take responsibility for it, and look beyond the actual incident to the consequences of our behavior. By verbally acknowledging these consequences and choosing a different behavior, you can help the person you have affected move from feeling angry or resentful to being thoughtful and supportive. You can remember the four parts by this phrase: "It's All About My Relationships!"
The "All" stands for 'Acknowledge'. By using 'I' statements, we take responsibility for our actions by admitting them. "I acknowledge that I didn't call you when I knew I was going to be late for lunch."
"About" represents 'Apologize'. State the cost or damage your actions caused. "I apologize for making you wait for me, which caused you frustration."
"My" is for 'Making it Right'. Deal with the consequences of the behavior and offer to make up for it with a solution. "What can I do to make it right?" This is where we listen in to find out what the other person needs in order to feel a sense of closure to the situation.
Lastly, "Relationships" stands for 'Recommit'. Make a commitment to take the steps necessary to mend the relationship. "I agree from now on to call you if I am running behind so that you know what's happening and you don't feel stood up."
People often think that they lower themselves when they apologize for something they did or didn't do, as if they are voluntarily giving up their own credibility. Consequently, this causes frustration. How many times have you been on the giving OR receiving end of an "I'm sorry" that felt empty or incomplete?
Using the Four-Part Apology cleans up our mistakes and realigns our integrity. At one nationally acclaimed summer enrichment camp, students learn this technique and are encouraged to practice it on a regular basis. This helps promote a positive learning environment that easily and effectively cuts down on drama and peer-conflict. Consequently, when students take this learning home with them, parents have claimed that their teens are much more effective communicators and quarrels between parents and their teens has been cut down significantly.
Outside of the home, the Four-Part Apology can be used in all other aspects of life, whether it's at work, school, or even with people we don't know. By using the Four-Part Apology model, we have allowed ourselves a clear channel of communication that upholds our integrity for positive relationships.
The Four-Part Apology is a great tool to maintain clear, open communication that will maintain our integrity for strong relationships when we have to apologize for a wrong-doing. This model allows us to acknowledge what we did, take responsibility for it, and look beyond the actual incident to the consequences of our behavior. By verbally acknowledging these consequences and choosing a different behavior, you can help the person you have affected move from feeling angry or resentful to being thoughtful and supportive. You can remember the four parts by this phrase: "It's All About My Relationships!"
The "All" stands for 'Acknowledge'. By using 'I' statements, we take responsibility for our actions by admitting them. "I acknowledge that I didn't call you when I knew I was going to be late for lunch."
"About" represents 'Apologize'. State the cost or damage your actions caused. "I apologize for making you wait for me, which caused you frustration."
"My" is for 'Making it Right'. Deal with the consequences of the behavior and offer to make up for it with a solution. "What can I do to make it right?" This is where we listen in to find out what the other person needs in order to feel a sense of closure to the situation.
Lastly, "Relationships" stands for 'Recommit'. Make a commitment to take the steps necessary to mend the relationship. "I agree from now on to call you if I am running behind so that you know what's happening and you don't feel stood up."
People often think that they lower themselves when they apologize for something they did or didn't do, as if they are voluntarily giving up their own credibility. Consequently, this causes frustration. How many times have you been on the giving OR receiving end of an "I'm sorry" that felt empty or incomplete?
Using the Four-Part Apology cleans up our mistakes and realigns our integrity. At one nationally acclaimed summer enrichment camp, students learn this technique and are encouraged to practice it on a regular basis. This helps promote a positive learning environment that easily and effectively cuts down on drama and peer-conflict. Consequently, when students take this learning home with them, parents have claimed that their teens are much more effective communicators and quarrels between parents and their teens has been cut down significantly.
Outside of the home, the Four-Part Apology can be used in all other aspects of life, whether it's at work, school, or even with people we don't know. By using the Four-Part Apology model, we have allowed ourselves a clear channel of communication that upholds our integrity for positive relationships.
About the Author:
SuperCamp's summer enrichment camps have been providing essential learning and life skills to kids and teens around the world for more than 27 years. Whether your kids are struggling with low grades, poor communication skills, or lack of confidence, ten days at SuperCamp will give them the tools they need to be successful in all aspects of their lives.
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