Never Tell Your Child We Cant Afford It Again!
Posted by
patrick
The words We Cant Afford It sets up a lack and limitation mindset in your childs psyche. They get a little achy feeling inside and never really understand why the family cant afford something. Your child will start the process of holding themselves back from things they want based on your words. This mentality also sets up lack and limitation in your own mind. You instantly cut yourself off from ideas and solutions to a cash crunch. Inside your subconscious mind you blame yourself for not being able to fulfill your childs wants and dreams. The only thing that can come out of this statement is a negative feeling: for both you and your child. I suggest that you approach these delicate situations with two tricks that will work wonders if you let them.
Helpful Hint #1: Sit Down With Your Child And Show Them Your Budget
Yes, that's right I said show them your budget. This of course infers that you actually have a budget. If you do not have a budget use a spreadsheet program and make one after you finish reading this article. Include everything you spend money on during an average month. Dont forget to average in things like hair cuts, school clothes and car insurance that you pay every few months or so. It is also very important to include fun in your budget. You spend money on movies, eating out, lattes and toys for the kids anyway right? Lastly when creating your budget include a savings plan and a cushion for unexpected items.
You might have a problem with the budget. You might already be running at a negative amount. At the very least this process will allow you to see how much in the red you are each month so that you can apply helpful hint #2 below to fill-in the gap. Your budget should be realistic and you should execute it each month. If you consistently outspend your budget in certain areas like food, you need to either stick to your plan or increase that area of spending.
Explaining A Budget To Your Child
Budgets are typically something that a child under the age of 13 might have a hard time grasping. You will need to improvise with them and put the budget into terms they can understand. Depending on their age, get a bag of M&Ms and use that to discuss the budget. Have them count the number of M&Ms in the bag and then write it on a piece of paper. Once they have done this tell them how many M&Ms you pay in rent each month. Then have your child push those into a circle on a piece of paper with rent written inside it. Continue with this process until you have worked through your budget [or a minor version of it] and have run out of M&Ms.
When it comes time to talk about the toy, lesson or other item that your child wants talk to them about how much the thing costs. Tell them that it costs X M&Ms and that for this month you have already used your M&Ms up. This sounds silly but they will understand it. Show them which categories you absolutely must put M&Ms into each month like rent, gas, and utilities. Then show them the discretionary categories that you spend in. Show them that if the family gives up cable then they can have the toy they want and vice versa. Ask your child if they prefer to have t.v. for the month or the toy etc. If you are truly struggling make the choice dramatic. But keep the game fun. Never make them feel bad for wanting to have the things they want. Tell your child they can have them but either they have to save for them or give up something else for a little while.
Helpful Hint #2: Think Up Ways You Can Afford It With Your Child
The next exercise you should do with your child is sit down and brainstorm on ways you can afford what they want. Make sure you discuss all the trade-offs involved and have them do the bulk of the work to acquire the item. This will build pride and self-confidence in your child. They also might reevaluate whether they actually want the toy in the first place. Some well placed chores to earn an allowance can get rid of the I want it, I want It syndrome that seems never ending.
Some of your brainstorming can include your child mowing lawns, doing gardening for the neighbors, completing extra chores, babysitting or otherwise taking an active role to earn money to pay for the item. You can also tell your child that you will match them dollar for dollar for any money they earn to acquire the thing they want.
Lastly, continue to discuss trade-offs that you can make. Can you cut out things from your budget that are really not helping you. Maybe eat out one less time a month or work a few extra hours of overtime? Taking these measures will not only help your child, it will help you get some breathing room in your budget so that you are not stressed and financially unstable.
Your brainstorming session should definitely include ways that you too can earn some extra money. Maybe you can joint babysit with your child and you give them a portion of the money you earn for helping. There are always people looking for help. While some jobs might not be the most desirable they get you to where you want to be and will help you provide the life you want to give your family.
Open Up to Possibility
These two processes will help you and your child think of positive ways to change a situation. Your child will learn to focus on possibility and will not focus on limitation or what they cant have. Often their little minds will come up with things you never thought of to make something work. You as a parent will have a better understanding of what is really important to them. Maybe the soccer lessons are not as much fun anymore for the child and they would rather have a new bike to play with their friends or a designer jacket to fit in better at school.
Youll never know the answers to these questions until you sit down with them and let them tell you what they want. It is critically important to discuss finances with a child at a young age. Too many of our young adults are going through college and life saddled with debt and limitations because no one wanted to talk about money when they were young. Talk about it, make it a priority and change your familys perception about money and what is possible in life. Its only when we take active steps to counter a situation that it improves and we grow.
Helpful Hint #1: Sit Down With Your Child And Show Them Your Budget
Yes, that's right I said show them your budget. This of course infers that you actually have a budget. If you do not have a budget use a spreadsheet program and make one after you finish reading this article. Include everything you spend money on during an average month. Dont forget to average in things like hair cuts, school clothes and car insurance that you pay every few months or so. It is also very important to include fun in your budget. You spend money on movies, eating out, lattes and toys for the kids anyway right? Lastly when creating your budget include a savings plan and a cushion for unexpected items.
You might have a problem with the budget. You might already be running at a negative amount. At the very least this process will allow you to see how much in the red you are each month so that you can apply helpful hint #2 below to fill-in the gap. Your budget should be realistic and you should execute it each month. If you consistently outspend your budget in certain areas like food, you need to either stick to your plan or increase that area of spending.
Explaining A Budget To Your Child
Budgets are typically something that a child under the age of 13 might have a hard time grasping. You will need to improvise with them and put the budget into terms they can understand. Depending on their age, get a bag of M&Ms and use that to discuss the budget. Have them count the number of M&Ms in the bag and then write it on a piece of paper. Once they have done this tell them how many M&Ms you pay in rent each month. Then have your child push those into a circle on a piece of paper with rent written inside it. Continue with this process until you have worked through your budget [or a minor version of it] and have run out of M&Ms.
When it comes time to talk about the toy, lesson or other item that your child wants talk to them about how much the thing costs. Tell them that it costs X M&Ms and that for this month you have already used your M&Ms up. This sounds silly but they will understand it. Show them which categories you absolutely must put M&Ms into each month like rent, gas, and utilities. Then show them the discretionary categories that you spend in. Show them that if the family gives up cable then they can have the toy they want and vice versa. Ask your child if they prefer to have t.v. for the month or the toy etc. If you are truly struggling make the choice dramatic. But keep the game fun. Never make them feel bad for wanting to have the things they want. Tell your child they can have them but either they have to save for them or give up something else for a little while.
Helpful Hint #2: Think Up Ways You Can Afford It With Your Child
The next exercise you should do with your child is sit down and brainstorm on ways you can afford what they want. Make sure you discuss all the trade-offs involved and have them do the bulk of the work to acquire the item. This will build pride and self-confidence in your child. They also might reevaluate whether they actually want the toy in the first place. Some well placed chores to earn an allowance can get rid of the I want it, I want It syndrome that seems never ending.
Some of your brainstorming can include your child mowing lawns, doing gardening for the neighbors, completing extra chores, babysitting or otherwise taking an active role to earn money to pay for the item. You can also tell your child that you will match them dollar for dollar for any money they earn to acquire the thing they want.
Lastly, continue to discuss trade-offs that you can make. Can you cut out things from your budget that are really not helping you. Maybe eat out one less time a month or work a few extra hours of overtime? Taking these measures will not only help your child, it will help you get some breathing room in your budget so that you are not stressed and financially unstable.
Your brainstorming session should definitely include ways that you too can earn some extra money. Maybe you can joint babysit with your child and you give them a portion of the money you earn for helping. There are always people looking for help. While some jobs might not be the most desirable they get you to where you want to be and will help you provide the life you want to give your family.
Open Up to Possibility
These two processes will help you and your child think of positive ways to change a situation. Your child will learn to focus on possibility and will not focus on limitation or what they cant have. Often their little minds will come up with things you never thought of to make something work. You as a parent will have a better understanding of what is really important to them. Maybe the soccer lessons are not as much fun anymore for the child and they would rather have a new bike to play with their friends or a designer jacket to fit in better at school.
Youll never know the answers to these questions until you sit down with them and let them tell you what they want. It is critically important to discuss finances with a child at a young age. Too many of our young adults are going through college and life saddled with debt and limitations because no one wanted to talk about money when they were young. Talk about it, make it a priority and change your familys perception about money and what is possible in life. Its only when we take active steps to counter a situation that it improves and we grow.
About the Author:
When you change your habits, actions and thoughts, your whole life will change. Click on www.GlobalSuccessILG.com to learn about how to increase your income and create wealth in your life. This site covers topics from leadership, to success, to growing your business and many more. Christina Helwig is Vice-President of Wealth Expressions, Inc. and coaches individuals on how to achieve their goals.
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